Like Puzzle Pieces in Your Hand
by B R Cary
Summary: I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole.


**Like Puzzle Pieces in Your Hand**

**Pieces  
**_I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

Then I see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole

I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your hand

I tried so hard! So hard!  
I tried so hard!

Bobby Goren opened the door to his car, sighing as he did. He had just come from another "visit" with his mother. As was becoming more and more the usual occurrence, he had spent most of the time trying to defend himself against his mother's accusations that he was the cause of her confinement at the hospital and if Frank were there he would not allow this to happen. Though Bobby had heard variations of this his whole life, it was starting to wear down him down. Nothing he said or did anymore seemed to help.

Suddenly Bobby's cell phone rang. As he picked it up, he saw that is was his partner, Alex Eames, calling him. Though he was always happy to hear her voice, he just was not in the right state of mind to be called into a case. Though, since Alex had been attending a family gathering that afternoon, he knew she would share in his misery. Sighing again, he hit the Talk button. "Goren."

"Hi, Bobby," Alex's soft, yet somehow still strong voice came across the phone.

Despite himself, Bobby smiled. It always amazed him at the series of contrasts that was Alexandra Eames. She was petite, but a major powerhouse and force to be reckoned with. Perps tended to underestimate the 5'3" dynamo that was his partner and soon regretted doing so when they found themselves brought down by her. She was by the book, but was not afraid to bend to rules a bit now and then. She was perpetually sarcastic, but had an underlying sense of compassion and empathy. She was one of the boys, but somehow never lost her sense of femininity. She dressed in such a way that was not overtly sexy, but still somehow managed to turn heads. She was beautiful, but in a wholly natural way that caused men to be drawn to her while also endearing her to women because she never flaunted it. In fact, Bobby wondered if Alex even knew just how stunning she was. Knowing Alex, she would most likely want to be known for her skills at the shooting range as opposed to how well she would do in a beauty pageant.

Shaking his head to get his thoughts back in order, Bobby asked, "Are we being called in on a case?"

"Can't I call for any other reason than that?"

Though she would never admit it, Bobby could detect the slight hurt in Alex's voice and kicked himself for being the cause of it. "Of course you can. I didn't mean to imply that you couldn't."

Alex was silent for a moment and Bobby assumed she was collecting herself. After a few seconds, she said, "I know you are visiting your mom, but I was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner when you're done. As usual, my mom gave me to WAY too many leftovers to take home. You would really be helping me out if you came over and helped eat some of this haul."

It was Bobby's turn to be silent. His normal routine after visiting with his mom was to go home and try to decompress. He was usually not in any shape to be good company to anyone, but, for some reason, the thought of going home to his empty apartment held no interest to him tonight. He found himself almost longing for the presence of another person. No, that wasn't right. He didn't want to be around just anyone; he wanted to be with Alex. "I'm actually sitting in my car getting ready to leave, so if you're sure you want some company, I can be there in a couple of hours."

"I'll see you when you get here," Alex replied.

After Alex had disconnected the call, Bobby sat staring at his phone for a few minutes. It wasn't like he and Alex had never eaten dinner together before and he had actually been to her house several times, but the actual number of times Alex had been the one to extend the invitation had been few and far between. He wondered why she had chosen tonight to do the very thing he hadn't known he needed.

XXXXXXX

Several hours later Bobby pulled up in front of Alex's house. He had spent the entire drive home thinking about his partner and wondering why she chose to stay with him. When Judge Garrett's lawyer dug up Alex's letter requesting a new partner, he had not been surprised. He would have been more surprised if he had found out she had never written one. But what did surprise him was that she had withdrawn it. He had never asked her why. Now here they were five years from the time they were first partnered and she was still with him. He didn't think that anyone in his life except for Alex had ever stayed in his life for five consecutive years. Well, maybe his mother, but after her illness took a turn for the worse during his seventh year of life, he really couldn't count her as actually being a full, active participant in his life. It had been so long since anyone had tried to get to know the "real" him that he wondered if he even knew who he truly was anymore. Yes, he had dated various women in the past, but none of them ever stuck around long enough to even begin to try to find out who was behind the seemingly charming man who wined and dined them. And the exceedingly few who had managed to make it past a second date were either put off by his work schedule or had somehow heard of his reputation of being a "whack job" and had quickly dumped him. But, if he was truly being honest with himself, it wasn't as if he could truly picture a future with any of the women of his past. None of them served to be more than pleasant distractions from his "normal" life. Maybe that was why he had pretty much given up dating all together. Maybe all the people who had left him over the years had been right and he was better off being alone.

Sighing, Bobby got out of his car and walked up to Alex's front door. It was already open for him by the time he got there and Alex was standing waiting for him, almost like a beacon. Her smile, as it always seemed to, made his heart beat a little faster, though he would never admit that. "Hi. I'm glad you're here. There is NO way I could eat all this food by myself."

Bobby followed Alex into the house, shutting and locking the door behind him. "I don't think your mom expected you to eat it all tonight," he replied.

As Alex went to the fridge, she said, "Believe me, there is too much food for an army to eat over a week, let alone just me." She began to pull out several containers and began to load up a plate. Once it was full, she placed it into the microwave. Turning back to Bobby, who had sat down at the counter, she asked, "What can I get you to drink?"

"Whatever you have is fine."

Alex opened the fridge again and pulled out a soda. She placed it in front of Bobby just as the microwave dinged. She pulled out the plate and placed it in front of Bobby. "Eat it while it's hot. Don't wait for me."

It took a few seconds for Bobby to realize that Alex was not making a plate for herself. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"In a bit. I wanted to make sure you had enough," Alex replied, seemingly nonchalantly.

"Didn't you just get done saying your mom packed enough to feed an entire army for a week?" Bobby inquired, raising one eyebrow. At Alex's blush, he continued, "So, why did you really invite me here?"

Alex was quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Even though you've never say anything, I've seen how quiet you get after visiting your mom. I can't imagine the toll it must take on you being the only one she has to depend on. You've shot down my offers to help in the past, but I figured if I posed the offer in the guise of helping me out, you would be more likely to come over and let someone take care of YOU for a change."

Bobby just stood there for a bit, taking in what Alex had just said. No one had ever been that concerned about him before. He did not know quite how to respond, but his pride made him say, "I appreciate the concern, but I can take care of myself."

Reaching out, Alex laid her hand on Bobby's arm. "I know you can, but, Bobby, it's not a weakness to allow someone to help you. We all need someone to lean on now and then."

"I've only ever had myself to rely on. No one else was ever there to offer to help," Bobby admitted softly.

Alex moved to sit beside Bobby. "Do you trust me?"

Bobby was taken aback by the change in subject, but he answered, "Yes. You are one of the very few people I trust completely."

"Then trust that my offer to help is genuine. You can't do this on your own any more, Bobby. It's tearing you apart," Alex replied.

Standing up, Bobby went to stand beside the window that looked out onto Alex's backyard. "So, YOU don't trust ME. Is that what this is all about?"

Moving to stand beside Bobby, Alex again laid her hand on Bobby's arm. "NO! That's NOT what this is about. That is nowhere near the truth. This is about me watching my best friend slowly self-destruct. Bobby, no one is an island, but that is what you try to be. Your walls of self defense are so high that no one attempts to climb them. But for some reason, I can see you, truly see you. I see the man that the world doesn't take the time to try and see. I see a man worth fighting for."

Bobby stood looking at his reflection in the glass trying to see what Alex saw, but all he saw was a man who had fought so many battles alone that he did not know how to begin to ask for help. But Alex made it seem so easy. He was telling her the truth when he said he trusted her. Next to Lewis, she was the only other person he ever let see glimpses of the person who he considered to be the real him. Could he trust Alex to help him piece together the rest? Almost in a whisper, he said, "Will you help me fight?"

Bobby felt Alex wrap her arms around his waist. "I'm your partner. I will always have your back," she answered, just as softly. And for the first time in as long as Bobby could remember, he began to feel whole again.

**Author's Note: **The above lyrics are the song "Pieces" by the band Red, who is one of my favorite bands of all time. The song is one of the most haunting and beautiful I have EVER heard.

This used to be entitled "From the Song Stylings of . . ." but no one really seemed to like that title much as hardly anyone read it. So if you are one of the few people who did, thank you and I am sorry for re-posting it under another title.


End file.
